right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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