Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's great music for shaving your balls
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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