When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
