That's when you crack a 10am beer
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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