Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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