is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's rum buckets o'clock
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
