I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
