In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
