Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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