tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
