I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
where are you?
Hypothermia
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
