That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
