he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize