I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
