my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I will pee on everything he values.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
