I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
