"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
