Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
