ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
