I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
