We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
