it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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