Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
