We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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