What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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