so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
