i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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