so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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