I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
please come you make the beer taste better
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
