I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
