She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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