I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
