We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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