Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
