I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
did i just pee glitter
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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