You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
