i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We have started to decorate penises.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
