Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
