Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
