Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
