Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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