she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
