PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
