No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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