so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
