Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
