haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
