We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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