peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
