Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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