Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
