If that was your dad, he is hot
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
