We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
