Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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