did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
this is an emotional support booty call
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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