Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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