i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
