Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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