she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
