when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
